A Story Done In Subjective Humor To Explain Real Trust

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First, before we begin, the baseline of this story is floating around Facebook with A message To Copy, Paste and Share. I did and several people enjoyed it with smiles and likes. As a post it was fun and simple with a nice double meaning.

To improve my skills as a creative writer I took the basic idea 💡 and recreated it with additional meaning and much more. I do awesome “text book 📖” type articles and teaching economics, Commerce and technology. So this is my attempt to make a creative story.

My business friend called and asked if I would loan her $300.00 to help her pay her wholesale BULQ purchase. Those who know me, know that I’m always willing to help out friends and family. I also often ask similar favors based on my own income fluctuations. No biggie for honest people and a few online sellers and I do this periodically. I told her to give me some time to transfer the cash 💰 and see if I had enough. Also, I would call her back with what amount I could do. Before I called her back, another close business friend who often will trade tiny loans back and forth with me, FYI we wouldn’t even consider a fee, called and told me that my friend was lying and not to give her the money. I said ok but knew I had to check and confirm what I had just been told. Needless to say I was shocked 😳 She goes on to say that the real reason they wanted the $300.00 was to get her boyfriend out of jail so she could be under the same roof as him for his birthday.

I thought about it for a minute and decided to give her the $300.00 because we all need help at times. So, I called my business long term friend and told her the money would need to be picked up. So I drove 1 hour and they drove and hour so we could meet.

A couple of hours later, I get a call from the County jail. It was my friend crying, screaming and asking why I gave her counterfeit money.

My response…so you and your boyfriend could be under the same roof for his birthday! 🤣 I would have given you the money 💴 regardless of the reason. Your dishonesty has ruined for all time any possible enjoyment in continued correspondence.

Some Lines Never Cross!

Obviously this short has a few messages and more importantly is totally fiction. The one going to jail wouldn’t be at the jail. They would go after who gave the arrested one the money to track its source. Also I would not have possession of fake money in any case. So my short story has a few real life problems but as a humorous fiction to express the value of real honesty it will suffice.

What do you Think??

Before we jump too far into discussion, let’s first define the white lie. According to Merriam-Webster, a white lie is “a lie about a small or unimportant matter that someone tells to avoid hurting another person.” The inherent dilemma, though, is that what’s supposed to be a one-off to avoid hurt feelings can spiral into a set of lies with which you then have to stay on top of.

Ultimately, any time a white lie will require additional white lies, or when it’s hindering the expression of your personal needs, you should tell the truth. Also note that you don’t have to be callous when telling the truth — you can deliver honesty with a side of gentleness.

Personally if I am lied to at all I consider all future communication unreliable and requires verification. I tend to not waist the time. If it’s “do I look good in red?” I am not overly concerned but only once maybe two times a lie of that “level” can I consider non-fatal.

Upon first hearing a lie, your brain must accept it as truth. Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert has theorized that to do the work of separating truth and lies, our brains first must accept the false statement as if it were true; otherwise, it’s impossible to engage with it. For instance, if someone were to tell us —hypothetically, of course — that there had been serious voter fraud in Virginia during the presidential election, we must for a fraction of a second accept that fraud did, in fact, take place. Only then do we take the second step, either completing the mental certification process (yes, fraud!) or rejecting it (what? no way).”

I have no time to spend sifting though information I am told do I keep only honest associations. Unfortunately very very few make the grade.

What exactly is a dishonest person and why are they behaving that way? People who intentionally use belittling, inconsistency, rationalizations, mixed signals and redirection tactics to make you feel less-than, mistrusting of yourself, or lost and unsure about the real issue at hand. These tactics usually employ inconsistency in reactions, in emotions, in verbiage — and point to something else. This might start when you raise an issue you have — something that doesn’t feel right to you — and suddenly the other person is pointing at something entirely different: telling you that you have a serious problem, or you look like crap, or some really diagonal reaction that you’re not expecting. Immediately you are taken aback: I was thoughtfully trying to raise a concern, I thought about this thing for a very long time — and now suddenly this person is saying this totally shocking OTHER thing. The result is similar to feeling stunned, guilty and unable to get OUT of the conflict.

You end up building a history of these types of conversations and they begin to wear you down — the circles exhaust you, because you’re chasing the truth and can’t ever catch up. When they point to something new, you almost believe the validity in what they are saying because you’ve been here before. What they might say will also play upon your fears and insecurities, they will also have sunk in and made you doubt yourself. Even if you rationally KNOW that you are being manipulated and that this person is spewing negativity at you to make you less confident, what they say will still hurt. It will still affect you — because this is a person you know and care about. They can make you feel unloved which when you endure it, makes you feel unlovable. You internalize the hurt.

The affect of the behavior is you have forgotten your gut and your instincts are valid. You have mistrusted yourself so many times — been so confused — that now you feel like you’re going crazy. “None of this makes any sense — I MUST be wrong.”

Manipulators will also tend to isolate you. The acts are all to get you “contained” and keep you disempowered — so they might tell you they hate your friends, or your family is annoying, or they might immediately express hatred for someone as soon as you talk about how much you like them. This is all to keep you under their control.

The end result of all of their behavior is you not trusting yourself. Something doesn’t feel right, but it doesn’t make sense. Huh? What just happened? Why can’t I reach resolution? Maybe I’m wrong…

The one factor in all of this that makes it easy to avoid is simply do not engage anyone dishonest in any way. Sounds simple. I am 51 years old soon to be 52 and only know 6 people that are honest enough to be part of my personal life and 3 for business.

Roger Keyserling

After I hear a lie this is all I ever hear 👂 from that point forward.

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A Story 🎭 Done In Subjective Humor 😏 To Explain Real Trust was originally published in eCom Tips on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

from eCom Tips – Medium https://ift.tt/2pkxnRn

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