Halloween Fun Tips and More

Don't forget to share!

I was surfing the web looking for some new ideas for Halloween đŸ‘»

Below are some Halloween tips with more that I thought everyone would enjoy.

Halloween Survival Guide

  1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if it’s really dead.
  2. If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house, move away immediately.
  3. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
  4. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.
  5. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared.
  6. When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off and go it alone.
  7. As a general rule, don’t solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
  8. Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead.
  9. If you’re searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it’s just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.
  10. If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.
  11. Do not take anything from the dead.
  12. If you find a town which looks deserted, it’s probably for a reason. Take the hint and stay away.
  13. Don’t fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you’re sure you know what you’re doing.
  14. If you’re running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it’s still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
  15. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible.
  16. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you’re in trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.
  17. If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.
  18. Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from deceased companions.

Not-So-Scary Movies To Get You In The Halloween Spirit

Edward Scissorhands

Corpse Bride (Netflix)

Casper

The Nightmare Before Christmas (Netflix)

Hocus Pocus

Halloweentown (4 Movies)

Ghostbusters

Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Ernest Scared Stupid (HBO GO)

Young Frankenstein (Netflix)

The Addams Family (Netflix)

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

Beetlejuice

Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

The Little Shop Of Horrors

Practical Magic (Netflix)

Coraline (Netflix)

Gremlins (Netflix)

Scooby Doo (Netflix)

Sleepy Hollow (Netflix & Hulu)

Colossal (Hulu)

Heathers (Netflix)

Clue (Hulu)

Teen Wolf

Shaun of the Dead (Showtime Anytime)

Warm Bodies

Fun Size

The Haunted Mansion

Hotel Transylvania (multiple — some on Netflix)

From Sherrye

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to knock it off and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in. “OK, follow me,” he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him. “Now, do you see that tree over there?” he asked. “Yes, yes, yes!” the bats all screamed in a frenzy. “Good,” said the first bat, “Because I DIDN’T!”

Just in case you have forgotten the rules for a safe and Happy Halloween!

  1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it’s really dead.
  2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
  3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone. out.
  4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language. which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save. you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several. rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak. with somebody else’s voice.
  5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off and go it. alone.
  6. As a general rule, don’t solve puzzles that open portals to. Hell.
  7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This. would apply to any other house of the dead as well.
  8. If you’re searching for something which caused a loud noise and. find out that it’s just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT!
  9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short circuits; just get out!
  10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.
  11. If you find a town which looks deserted, there’s probably a. good reason for it. Don’t stop and look around.
  12. Don’t fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you’re sure. you know what you’re doing.
  13. If you’re running from the monster, expect to trip or fall. down at least twice. Also note that, despite the fact that you are. running and the monster is merely shambling along, it’s still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
  14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.
  15. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you’re in trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.
  16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not. go to the nearby deserted looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange because you thought you had 3/4 of a tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten.
  17. Beware of strangers bearing strange tools. For example: chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from deceased companions.
  18. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with the in-laws. This also applies to houses that had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house.
  19. If you find that:

a. your house is built upon or near a cemetery,

b. was once a church that was used for black masses,

c. had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or

d. had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house,

MOVE AWAY IMMEDIATELY.

Scary Movies To Get You In the Halloween Spirit:

Halloween (10 Movies — HBO GO has Resurrection & HULU has H20)

Friday the 13th (11 Movies)

Chucky / Child’s Play (7 Movies — Netflix has two in the Chucky wheelhouse)

Paranormal Activity (6 Movies — I’ve actually only ever watched the first half of one of these, and then things started happening in our house and I refuse to watch them ever again)

Scream (4 Movies — HBO GO has 2 & 3)

The Ring (HBO GO)

The Amityville Horror (16 Movies — HBO GO has the one with Ryan Reynolds which is my favorite)

Carrie (Hulu has the original, I recommend the newer version)

The Craft (Netflix)

Sinisiter (multiple)

The Possession

IT

The Purge (3 Movies — HBO GO has Election Year, but I would recommend skipping that one unless you are a huge Purge fan)

The Shining

The Exorcist

28 Days Later

Cabin In The Woods

The Conjuring (HBO GO has 1 & 2)

Nightmare On Elm Street

Psycho

House of 1000 Corpses

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Netflix has 1 and Hulu has 2)

Saw (8 Movies — Netflix)

Jeepers Creepers (3 Movies)

Train to Busan (Netflix)

The Sixth Sense (Netflix)

Gothika

House of Wax

It Follows (Netflix)

The Blair Witch Project (HBO GO)

Lights Out (HBO GO)

Hostel (Netflix)

The Funhouse Massacre (Showtime Anytime)

Cabin Fever (Hulu & Showtime Anytime)

Signs (Hulu)

The Babadook (Netflix)

The Others

The Descent

Drag Me To Hell

House of Manson (Hulu)

Bad Segeberg, Hamburg. — Germany

Passengers on a train thought that a Halloween reveller, who was dressed up as zombie, was actually a murder victim. They were alarmed because his hands and face were smeared with what looked like blood. Because they suspected foul play, fellow passengers on the train called the police and also alerted the ambulance service.

When paramedics arrived they soon realized that the 24-year old man was in a drunken slumber rather than dead. A little later the police boarded the train, questioned man and asked him to remove his frightening make-up. He was then allowed him to continue his train journey home.

An official police spokeswoman said:

‘Bad Segeberg is in a rural area and Halloween isn’t very well known there; so people weren’t expecting anyone to be dressed up in the train.’

An un-attributed acquaintance said:

‘I was on that train, and my friend looked just the same as normal. I don’t understand why they called the authorities’.

Funny Halloween Story — Stanley SpitfireFunny Halloween Story — Stanley Spitfire

Daredevil pup Stanley attracts more than a few stares when he goes for a ‘walk’ in his miniature Spitfire. Passers-by might think the four month old wire-haired fox terrier is crazy, but he loves donning his flying hat, goggles and jacket for a spin reports the Metro.

Owners Phil and Sharon Cook, both in their 40s, mocked up the miniature plane for a Halloween party, but Stanley enjoyed it so much that they can be seen trundling around the streets near their home in Leigh, Essex. Mrs Cook added, ‘Stanley loves it. We decided to go for a Spitfire as a nod towards Remembrance Day. He is content to sit in the cockpit and watch the world go by.’

The plane is made from an old holdall attached to a skateboard, while Stanley’s flying hat is fashioned from an old cuddly toy.

The Little Brown Dog

Rachel, from Northallerton, Yorkshire, England was an extremely old woman who had no family still living.

Her only companion and friend was a little brown dog, Slats, who went everywhere with her, with one exception. Slats loved the open fireplace in winter, and after the old woman went to bed he would sometimes go and lie in the hearth in front of the warm coals. Usually though, the dog slept at the very edge of the bed on a throw rug.

Rachel wouldn’t allow the dog on the bed with her, but if she became frightened or had a nightmare, she would put her hand down to the little brown dog and he would lick it reassuringly.

One dark night Rachel was reading her newspaper just before going to sleep. She shivered and pulled the bedclothes up around her as she read that a mental patient had wandered off from the nearby Broadmoor asylum. No one knew if the patient was dangerous of not; he was a suspect in the murders of several women who had lived alone.

Rachel turned out the lights and tried to sleep, but she was frightened, and kept thinking of the news report; she tossed and turned fitfully.

Finally, she reached down to where the little brown dog slept. Sure enough, a warm, wet tongue began to lick her hand. The woman felt reassured and safe, and left her hand dangling off the bed as she turned and settled in comfortably. She opened her eyes for a moment and looked through the open door into the living room.

There in front of the fireplace, sat Slats, gazing at the coals and wagging his tail.

Down beside the bed, something was still licking her hand. — Scary Stories for Halloween

A Chilling Poem

I’m not afraid of snakes, or toads, or bugs, or worms, or mice,

The things that girls are scared of, I think are awful nice.

I’m pretty brave, I guess; And yet I hate to go to bed,

For, when I’m tucked up warm and snug and when my prayers are said,

Mother tells me “Happy dreams!” and takes away the light,

And leaves me lying all alone and seeing things at night.

Sometimes they’re in the corner, sometimes they’re by the door,

Sometimes they all just creep and crawl across the bedroom floor;

Sometimes they come when I’m asleep, sometimes when I’m awake

So softly and so silently, they make me scream and shake.

Sometimes they are as black as ink, and other times they’re white

But color makes no difference when you’re seeing things at night.

Once, Mother caught me being bad, fighting in the street,

And Father sent me up to bed without a bite to eat.

I heard some noises in the dark and up my ears did prick

Those things were gathered all around and planning something sick.

I was so very scared that time, I got an awful fright

It’s always when I’m bad that I start seeing things at night.

Lucky thing I’m not a girl, or I’d be scared to death.

Since I’m a boy, I duck my head and then I hold my breath.

When I hear something horrible, crawling up the stairs

I promise to be better and I always say my prayers.

I’m certain that’s the only way that I can make it right

When I’ve been very wicked and start things at night!

And so, when other evil kids tempt and coax me into sin,

I try to squash the devil’s voice that urges me within.

At night the things creep closer and they aren’t very nice,

They want to eat me up without even thinking twice!

Eventually these evil things will drag me out of sight

I hope I don’t keep doing wrong, and seeing things at night!

Author Unknown

A Creepy Tale from a Vienna Graveyard

Chris Cross, a tourist in Vienna, is going passed Vienna’s Zentralfriedhof graveyard on October 31st. All of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. Chris finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770–1827. Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades Tim Burr, a friend, to return with him.

By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward. Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th. By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward.

Just then the graveyard’s caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music.

“Oh, it’s nothing to worry about” says the caretaker. “He’s just decomposing!”

A Mother’s Love: A Soulful and Uplifting Story

One Halloween night, a couple was travelling by car through Epping Forest when, in the far distance, they saw a woman in the middle of the road, waving frantically.

Cynthia told her husband, Charles to keep on driving because it might be too dangerous, but the husband decided to pass by slowly in case the person was in genuine trouble.

As they drove closer, they noticed that the woman was bleeding from cuts and bruises on her face as well as on her arms. Cynthia and Charles then decide to stop and see if they could be of any assistance.

The cut and bruised woman was begging for help telling them that she had already been in a car accident and that her husband and son, a new born baby, were still inside the car which was in a deep ditch. She told them that the husband was already dead but that her baby was still alive.Halloween Car Crash

Charles decided to walk to the crash and try to rescue the baby and he asked the hurt woman to stay with Cynthia inside their car. When Charles arrived at the crash he noticed two people in the front seats of the car but he didn’t pay any attention to them and quickly grabbed the live baby and got up to take it to the mother.

He straightened up carrying the baby and couldn’t see the mother anywhere so he asked his wife where she had gone. Cynthia told him that the woman followed him back to the crashed car.

When Charles returned to the crash to look for her, he noticed that clearly the couple in the front seats were dead, one of whom was unmistakably the woman who had flagged them down.

Wormy Dogs

This recipe is incredibly easy. You will only need 3 ingredients that you’ll most likely have on hand. The assembly is easy too. You can make it a fun-filled family dinner.

They are created by pushing spaghetti noodles through cut up pieces of hot dogs. You’ll boil the wormy dogs until the pasta has reached the perfect consistency. Then, to enjoy for dinner, serve with your families favorite pasta sauce.

funny clean halloween jokes and stories. Free humor 31st October.

Trouble-Free Trick-or-Treating

Go with young children (under age 12). Make sure they know how to call 911 in case they get lost. Check to make sure they know their home phone number.

Know the route taken by older kids who trick-or-treat on their own, and when they’ll be coming home.

Tips:

  1. carry a cellphone, if possible
  2. go in a group and stay together
  3. only go to houses with porch lights on
  4. walk on sidewalks on lit streets (never through alleys or across lawns)
  5. walk from house to house (never run) and always walk facing traffic when walking on roads
  6. stay away from candles and other flames
  7. know to never go into strangers’ homes or cars
  8. cross the street at crosswalks and never assume that vehicles will stop
  9. Give kids flashlights with new batteries. Kids may also enjoy wearing glow sticks as bracelets or necklaces.
  10. Limit trick-or-treating to your neighborhood and the homes of people you know.
  11. When your kids get home, help them check all treats to make sure they’re sealed. Throw out candy with torn packages or holes in the packages, spoiled items, and any homemade treats that haven’t been made by someone you know.
  12. Don’t allow young children to have hard candy or gum that could cause choking.

Make sure trick-or-treaters will be safe when visiting your home too. Remove anything that could cause them to trip or fall on your walkway or lawn. Make sure the lights are on outside your house and light the walkway to your door, if possible. Keep family pets away from trick-or-treaters, even if they seem harmless to you.

Halloween Tips and Ideas

Roger Keyserling

Keywebco.biz version 187

Enjoy our free App


Halloween 🎃 Fun Tips and More was originally published in eCom Tips on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

from eCom Tips – Medium https://ift.tt/2QtvME2
via IFTTT

Don't forget to share!
Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  • Gift Cards From Keywebco